I am like most people when it comes to New Year’s resolutions. We start the new year with plans of making it different that the previous year, or make different choice to become better people.

My new year has started quite differently than ever before… I am dealing with the loss of a loved one; my father.

The death of a parent or other loved one is never easy to deal with; doubly so when you as the primary caregiver. As the caregiver, you see your parent deteriorate slowly, and your own personal life deteriorates imperceptibly as well. It isn’t until the end that you realize that two lives have been lost… it can be a very lonely time.

You can’t prepare yourself for the so-called “Five Stages of Grief”; these coping stages are experienced differently by each person. You may not even experience all of them.

Something that does tend to be the same, however, is guilt. You might have survivor’s guilt, or feel guilty that you were unable to save them. As the primary caregiver, you may need to make some serious end-of-life choices, and those are not without guilt. Finally, you may feel guilt in moving on and having a life of your own.

At some point in the coping process, you get to a point that you accept your loss and feel better. It is at this point guilt can manifest again because you may feel you are forgetting your loved one.

As I said previously, everybody experiences grief differently, and we all cope differently too. I wouldn’t presume to tell others how to move on, but I will share what I am doing to come to terms with my loss.

The relaunch of my personal blog, bradrowley.net, is dedicated to my late father, Alan Brawn. I choose not to dwell on his absence, but rather to focus on what made him such an awesome person and father. I remember him for the positivity he brought into other people’s lives, for his drive for ongoing personal growth and education, his sharing with others and his professionalism. He also had a great love for the outdoors and revelled in bringing that same joy to others. It is with these remembrances in mind that I choose my path into the new year, a new life and a new beginning.

My blog will focus this new life I find myself setting out on, sharing what I learn about business, leadership, technology, life, etc. with others. I hope to bring the same wonder and joy into the lives of other people, just like my father did for me.

Welcome to my new everything!